\nLesson 1:
\n\tA man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
\n\tThe wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
\n\tWhen she opens the door, there stands Ron, the next-door neighbor.
\n\tBefore she says a word, Ron says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel..’
\n\tAfter thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked
\n\tin front of Ron, after a few seconds, Ron hands her $800 and leaves.
\n\tThe woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
\n\tWhen she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
\n\t‘It was Ron the next door neighbor,’ she replies.
\n\t‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’<\/p>\n
\tMoral of the story:
\n\tIf you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time,
\n\tyou may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.<\/p>\n
\t Lesson 2:
\n\tA priest offered a Nun a lift.
\n\tShe got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
\n\tThe priest nearly had an accident.
\n\tAfter controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg..
\n\tThe nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
\n\tThe priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
\n\tThe nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
\n\tThe priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
\n\tArriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
\n\tOn his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
\n\tIt said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’<\/p>\n
\tMoral of the story:
\n\tIf you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.<\/p>\n
\tLesson 3:
\n\tA sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
\n\tThey rub it and a Genie comes out.
\n\tThe Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk.
\n\t‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone.
\n\t‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal
\n\tmasseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff! He’s gone.
\n\t‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
\n\tThe manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’ <\/p>\n
\tMoral of the story:
\n\tAlways let your boss have the first say.<\/p>\n
\tLesson 4:
\n\tAn eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
\n\tA small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
\n\tThe eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
\n\tSo, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden,
\n\tA fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.<\/p>\n
\tMoral of the story:
\n\tTo be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.<\/p>\n
\tLesson 5:
\n\tA turkey was chatting with a bull.
\n\t‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey,
\n\t‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’
\n\treplied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
\n\tThe turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength
\n\tto reach the lowest branch of the tree.
\n\tThe next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
\n\tFinally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
\n\tHe was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.<\/p>\n
\tMoral of the story:
\n\tBull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..<\/p>\n
\tLesson 6:
\n\tA little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
\n\tWhile he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
\n\tAs the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
\n\tThe dung was actually thawing him out!
\n\tHe lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
\n\tA passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate..
\n\tFollowing the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.<\/p>\n
\tMorals of the story:
\n\t(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
\n\t(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend..
\n\t(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!<\/p>\n
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