\nBIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA<\/p>\n
\tThe doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life
\n\tfinally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a
\n\tlist of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
\n\tAs the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized
\n\tGrandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
\n\t"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
\n\t"Yes, they help me sleep at night."
\n\t"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that that
\n\tcould possibly help you sleep!"
\n\tShe reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee…."Yes, dear, I know
\n\tthat. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange
\n\tjuice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks. and believe me, it
\n\tdefinitely helps me sleep at night."
\n\tYou gotta Love Grandmas <\/p>\n
\n\tTHE NICE MAN BECAME IMPATIENT <\/p>\n
\tA man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman
\n\tnext to him started to breast-feed her baby. The baby wouldn’t take it, so
\n\tshe said, "Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this
\n\tnice man next to us."
\n\tFive minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said, "Come on,
\n\thoney. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here."
\n\tA few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on kid. Make up
\n\tyour mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago! <\/p>\n
\n\tBIOLOGY EXAM: <\/p>\n
\tStudents in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The
\n\tlast question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk. The question
\n\twas worth 70 points or none at all.
\n\tOne student, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:
\n\t1) It is perfect formula for the child.
\n\t2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
\n\t3) It is always the right temperature.
\n\t4) It is inexpensive.
\n\t5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
\n\t6) It is always available as needed. <\/p>\n
\tAnd then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
\n\tbell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
\n\t7) It comes in two attractive containers and it’s high enough off the
\n\tground where the cat can’t get it.
\n\tHe got an A.<\/p>\n
\tWISE ITALIAN GRANDFATHER <\/p>\n
\tAn old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his grandson to his
\n\tbedside, "Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome
\n\tplated …38 revolver so you will always remember me."
\n\t"But grandpa, I really don’t like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex
\n\twatch instead?"
\n\t"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna
\n\thave a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of
\n\tbambinos. "
\n\t"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with
\n\tanother man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say,
\n\t‘Times up!’ \u201c? <\/p>\n
\n\tA RIDE IN THE TAXI <\/p>\n
\tA woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It
\n\twas raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
\n\t"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
\n\t"They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
\n\tThe taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don’t you tell him
\n\tthe Truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
\n\tThe little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
\n\tHis mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers "Yes".
\n\tAfter a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what
\n\thappens to them?"
\n\t"She said" "Most of them become taxi drivers.<\/p>\n
No replies were posted for this topic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8908","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8908"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8908\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}