{"id":8758,"date":"2015-03-16T20:20:11","date_gmt":"2015-03-16T20:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2015\/03\/16\/happy-st-patricks-day\/"},"modified":"2015-03-16T20:20:11","modified_gmt":"2015-03-16T20:20:11","slug":"happy-st-patricks-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2015\/03\/16\/happy-st-patricks-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy St. Patrick's Day"},"content":{"rendered":"


\n\u2022 Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That’s grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Finnegin: \u200b"\u200bMy wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning. I can’t break her of it.\u200b"\u200b<\/p>\n

\t Keenan: \u200b"\u200bWhat on earth is she doin’ at that time?\u200b"\u200b<\/p>\n

\t Finnegin: \u200b"Waitin’ for me to come home.\u200b"\u200b<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.<\/p>\n

\n\t \u2022 The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight so often among themselves is that they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"
\n\t"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Question – Why are Irish jokes so simple?
\n\t Answer – So the English can understand them.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
\n\tShopkeeper: "I’d prefer that you use the dressing room."<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, "Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantel piece?" "No," said himself, "but I’m getting closer all the time." <\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
\n\t A. A bachelor. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 "O’Ryan," asked the druggist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife’s appearance?" "It did surely," replied O’Ryan, "but it keeps fallin’ off!"<\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital. "Quick!" he said. "Send an ambulance, my wife is goin’ to have a baby!" "Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her husband, Kevin, speakin’." <\/p>\n

\t\u2022 Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive? <\/p>\n

\n\t\u2022 My mother wanted me to be a priest. Can you imagine giving up your sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and highlights of theirs?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Replies:<\/h3>\n
\n

Posted by:<\/strong> sevenout on March 29, 2015, 2:03 pm<\/p>\n

Very nice. One of my personal favorites:<\/p>\n

\tWhat is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?<\/p>\n

\tOne less drunk.<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2022 Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty." "That’s grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?" \u2022 Finnegin: \u200b"\u200bMy wife has a terrible habit of staying up…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8758","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8758","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8758"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8758\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8758"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8758"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8758"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}