{"id":874,"date":"2012-06-25T12:49:51","date_gmt":"2012-06-25T12:49:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2012\/06\/25\/engineers\/"},"modified":"2012-06-25T12:49:51","modified_gmt":"2012-06-25T12:49:51","slug":"engineers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2012\/06\/25\/engineers\/","title":{"rendered":"Engineers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- Original Post Content --><br \/>\nSome of these may have been around before, but they are still great!<\/p>\n<p>\tUnderstanding Engineers #1 <\/p>\n<p>\tTwo engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, &quot;Where did you get such a great bike?&quot; The second engineer replied, &quot;Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, &quot;Take what you want.&quot; The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, &quot;Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn&#8217;t have fit you anyway.&quot; <\/p>\n<p>\t ==========<br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #2 <\/p>\n<p>\tTo the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. <\/p>\n<p>\t=========== <br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #3 <\/p>\n<p>\tA priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, &quot;What&#8217;s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!&quot; The doctor chimed in, &quot;I don&#8217;t know, but I&#8217;ve never seen such inept golf!&quot; The priest said, &quot;Here comes the green-keeper. Let&#8217;s have a word with him.&quot; He said, &quot;Hello, George. What&#8217;s wrong with that group ahead of us? They&#8217;re rather slow, aren&#8217;t they?&quot; The green-keeper replied, &quot;Oh, yes. That&#8217;s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.&quot; The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, &quot;That&#8217;s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.&quot; The doctor said, &quot;Good idea. I&#8217;m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there&#8217;s anything she can do for them.&quot; The engineer said, &quot;Why can&#8217;t they play at night?&quot; <\/p>\n<p>\t=========== <br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #4 <\/p>\n<p>\tWhat is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets. <\/p>\n<p>\t========== <br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #5 <\/p>\n<p>\tThe graduate with a science degree asks, &quot;Why does it work?&quot; The graduate with an engineering degree asks, &quot;How does it work?&quot; The graduate with an accounting degree asks, &quot;How much will it cost?&quot; The graduate with an arts degree asks, &quot;Do you want fries with that?&quot; <\/p>\n<p>\t==========<br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #6 <\/p>\n<p>\tThree engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, &quot;It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.&quot; Another said, &quot;No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections.&quot; The last one said, &quot;No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?&quot; <\/p>\n<p>\t===========<br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #7 <\/p>\n<p>\tNormal people believe that if it ain&#8217;t broke, don&#8217;t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain&#8217;t broke, it doesn&#8217;t have enough features yet. <\/p>\n<p>\t==========<br \/>\n\tUnderstanding Engineers #8 <\/p>\n<p>\tAn engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, &quot;If you kiss me, I&#8217;ll turn into a beautiful princess.&quot; He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, &quot;If you kiss me, I&#8217;ll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week.&quot; The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, &quot;If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I&#8217;ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want.&quot; Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, &quot;What is the matter? I&#8217;ve told you I&#8217;m a beautiful princess and that I&#8217;ll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won&#8217;t you kiss me?&quot; The engineer said, &quot;Look, I&#8217;m an engineer. I don&#8217;t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog &#8211; now that&#8217;s cool.&quot;<\/p>\n<hr>\n<h3>Replies:<\/h3>\n<div class=\"migrated-reply\" style=\"border: 1px solid #eee;padding: 15px;margin-bottom: 15px;border-radius: 5px\">\n<p><strong>Posted by:<\/strong> Guest on June 25, 2012, 11:20 pm<\/p>\n<div>Thanks for all the jokes, I needed a good chuckle. \ud83d\ude06<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some of these may have been around before, but they are still great! Understanding Engineers #1 Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, &quot;Where did you get such a great bike?&quot; The second engineer replied,&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/874\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}