\nHenny Youngman’s <\/p>\n
\tMy wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last…<\/p>\n
\t1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.<\/p>\n
\t2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.<\/p>\n
\t3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.<\/p>\n
\t4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"<\/p>\n
\t5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.<\/p>\n
\t6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.<\/p>\n
\t7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."<\/p>\n
\t8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!<\/p>\n
\t9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off…<\/p>\n
\t10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"<\/p>\n
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Henny Youngman’s My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last… 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays. 2. We…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":31,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7332","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/31"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}