\nThose wonderful Bulletins!<\/p>\n
\tThank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:<\/p>\n
\tThe Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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\n\tThe sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
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\n\tLadies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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\n\tRemember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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\n\tDon’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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\n\tMiss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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\n\tFor those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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\n\tNext Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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\n\tIrving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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\n\tA bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
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\n\tAt the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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\n\tEight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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\n\tScouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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\n\tPlease place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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\n\tThe church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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\n\tPotluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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\n\tThe ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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\n\tThis evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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\n\tLadies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall
\n\t after the B. S. Is done.
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\n\tThe pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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\n\tLow Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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\n\tThe eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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\n\tWeight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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\n\tThe Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours<\/p>\n
Posted by:<\/strong> Dr Crapology on September 15, 2013, 3:30 pm<\/p>\n \tDoc<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n Posted by:<\/strong> Guest on September 20, 2013, 12:15 am<\/p>\n Posted by:<\/strong> Skinny on September 21, 2013, 1:42 am<\/p>\n "Lois and Clark" wrote:<\/strong> Thanks Doc. Lois and I needed a good laugh. \n\tYou are welcome "Lois" \ud83d\ude44 \ud83d\ude44 \ud83d\ude44<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Those wonderful Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5828","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5828","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5828"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5828\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5828"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5828"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5828"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\tClark<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n\tClark<\/p><\/blockquote>\n