\nDue to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.<\/p>\n
\tThis scheme will be known as RAPE–Retire Aged People Early.<\/p>\n
\tPersons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program–Special Help After Forced Termination.<\/p>\n
\tPersons who have been RAPED and Shafted will be reviewed under the SCREW program–System Covering Retired-Early Workers.<\/p>\n
\tA person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.<\/p>\n
\tPersons who have been RAPED could get AIDS–Additional Income For Dependents & Spouse or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance.<\/p>\n
\tObviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.<\/p>\n
\tPersons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT–Special High Intensity Training–as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.<\/p>\n
\tShould you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.<\/p>\n
\tSincerely, <\/p>\n
\tThe Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives–EVIL<\/p>\n
\tPS–Due to the recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light At The End Of The Tunnel has been turned off.<\/p>\n
Posted by:<\/strong> ACPA on June 25, 2013, 2:28 am<\/p>\n \tNoah<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4819","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4819","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4819"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4819\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4819"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4819"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4819"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}