{"id":4703,"date":"2013-06-17T22:33:22","date_gmt":"2013-06-17T22:33:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2013\/06\/17\/at-tiffanys\/"},"modified":"2013-06-17T22:33:22","modified_gmt":"2013-06-17T22:33:22","slug":"at-tiffanys","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2013\/06\/17\/at-tiffanys\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8230; at Tiffany&#039;s"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- Original Post Content --><br \/>\nA LADY WALKS INTO TIFFANY&#8217;S .. SHE LOOKS AROUND, SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND BRACELET AND WALKS OVER TO INSPECT IT&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\tAS SHE BENDS OVER TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY, SHE UNEXPECTEDLY FARTS&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\tVERY EMBARRASSED, SHE LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY TO SEE IF ANYONE NOTICED HER LITTLE WOOPS AND PRAYS THAT A SALESPERSON WAS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\tAS SHE TURNS AROUND, HER WORST NIGHTMARE MATERIALIZES IN THE FORM OF A SALESMAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HER&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\tGOOD LOOKING AS WELL .. COOL AS A CUCUMBER, HE DISPLAYS ALL OF THE QUALITIES ONE WOULD EXPECT OF A PROFESSIONAL IN A STORE LIKE TIFFANY&#8217;S&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\tHE POLITELY GREETS THE LADY WITH, &#8216;GOOD DAY, MADAM .. HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY???<\/p>\n<p>\tBLUSHING AND UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT STILL HOPING THAT THE SALESMAN SOMEHOW MISSED HER LITTLE &#8216;INCIDENT&#8217;, SHE ASKS, &#8216;SIR, WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS LOVELY BRACELET ??&#8217;<\/p>\n<p>\tHE ANSWERS, &quot;MADAM .. IF YOU FARTED JUST LOOKING AT IT &#8211; YOU&#8217;RE GOING TO SH*T WHEN I TELL YOU THE PRICE ..&quot;<\/p>\n<hr>\n<h3>Replies:<\/h3>\n<p>No replies were posted for this topic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A LADY WALKS INTO TIFFANY&#8217;S .. SHE LOOKS AROUND, SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND BRACELET AND WALKS OVER TO INSPECT IT&#8230; AS SHE BENDS OVER TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY, SHE UNEXPECTEDLY FARTS&#8230; VERY EMBARRASSED, SHE LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY TO SEE IF&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4703","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4703","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4703"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4703\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4703"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4703"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4703"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}