{"id":394,"date":"2012-03-02T19:24:57","date_gmt":"2012-03-02T19:24:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2012\/03\/02\/how-many-christians-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb\/"},"modified":"2012-03-02T19:24:57","modified_gmt":"2012-03-02T19:24:57","slug":"how-many-christians-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2012\/03\/02\/how-many-christians-does-it-take-to-change-a-light-bulb\/","title":{"rendered":"How Many Christians Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- Original Post Content --><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: 16px\">I think of this as light-hearted fun, I hope no one takes this seriously.  .  .<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\t=====================================================================================================================<\/p>\n<p>\n\tCharismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air.<\/p>\n<p>\tPentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.<\/p>\n<p>\tPresbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.<\/p>\n<p>\tRoman Catholics: None. Candles only.<\/p>\n<p>\tBaptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.<\/p>\n<p>\tEpiscopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.<\/p>\n<p>\tMormons: Five. One man to change the bulb and four wives to tell him how to do it.<\/p>\n<p>\tUnitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.<\/p>\n<p>\tMethodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring a bulb of your choice and a covered dish.<\/p>\n<p>\tNazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.<\/p>\n<p>\tLutherans: None. Lutherans don&#8217;t believe in change.<\/p>\n<p>\tAmish: What&#8217;s a light bulb?<\/p>\n<hr>\n<h3>Replies:<\/h3>\n<div class=\"migrated-reply\" style=\"border: 1px solid #eee;padding: 15px;margin-bottom: 15px;border-radius: 5px\">\n<p><strong>Posted by:<\/strong> ACPA on March 3, 2012, 6:25 am<\/p>\n<div>i particularly like the last one.<\/p>\n<p>\tnoah<\/p><\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I think of this as light-hearted fun, I hope no one takes this seriously. . . ===================================================================================================================== Charismatic: Only one. Hands are already in the air. Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/394\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}