\nThose wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: <\/p>\n
\t————————–<\/p>\n
\tThe Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\n\t The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.<\/p>\n
\tThe sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\tLadies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\n\t Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\tDon’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
\n\t————————–<\/p>\n
\tMiss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\tFor those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————–<\/p>\n
\n\t Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tIrving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tA bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tAt the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tEight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. <\/p>\n
\n\t————————–<\/p>\n
\n\t Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tThe church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tPotluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow. <\/p>\n
\n\t————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tThe ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tThis evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tLadies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. <\/p>\n
\n\t————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tThe pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tLow Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tThe eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.<\/p>\n
\n\t ————————– <\/p>\n
\n\tWeight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church.<\/p>\n
\tPlease use large double door at the side entrance.<\/p>\n
No replies were posted for this topic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: ————————– The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2408"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2408\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}