{"id":2045,"date":"2013-01-27T15:13:55","date_gmt":"2013-01-27T15:13:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2013\/01\/27\/southern-security-system\/"},"modified":"2013-01-27T15:13:55","modified_gmt":"2013-01-27T15:13:55","slug":"southern-security-system","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/2013\/01\/27\/southern-security-system\/","title":{"rendered":"Southern Security System"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- Original Post Content --><br \/>\nHOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM <\/p>\n<p>\t1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men&#8217;s work boots. <br \/>\n\t2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns &amp; Ammo <br \/>\n\tmagazine. <br \/>\n\t3. Put 4 giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. <br \/>\n\t4. Leave a note on your door that reads: <\/p>\n<p>\tBubba, <br \/>\n\tMe and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer. <br \/>\n\tBe back in an hour. <br \/>\n\tDon&#8217;t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed <br \/>\n\thim up bad. <br \/>\n\tI don&#8217;t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the <br \/>\n\tblood. Anyway, <br \/>\n\tI locked all 4 of &#8217;em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back. <\/p>\n<p>\tCooter<\/p>\n<hr>\n<h3>Replies:<\/h3>\n<div class=\"migrated-reply\" style=\"border: 1px solid #eee;padding: 15px;margin-bottom: 15px;border-radius: 5px\">\n<p><strong>Posted by:<\/strong> TommyC on January 29, 2013, 1:49 am<\/p>\n<div>Good one.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM 1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men&#8217;s work boots. 2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns &amp; Ammo magazine. 3. Put&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2045"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}