\nThey’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. <\/p>\n
\tThese sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins, or were announced in church services: <\/p>\n
\tThe Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. <\/p>\n
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\tThe sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ <\/p>\n
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\tLadies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. <\/p>\n
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\tRemember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you. <\/p>\n
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\tDon’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help. <\/p>\n
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\tMiss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. <\/p>\n
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\tFor those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. <\/p>\n
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\tNext Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. <\/p>\n
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\tIrving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. <\/p>\n
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\tA bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.. <\/p>\n
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\tAt the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice. <\/p>\n
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\tEight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. <\/p>\n
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\tScouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. <\/p>\n
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\tPlease place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.. <\/p>\n
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\tThe church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. <\/p>\n
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\tPotluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.<\/p>\n
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\tThe ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. <\/p>\n
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\tThis evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. <\/p>\n
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\tLadies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. <\/p>\n
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\tThe pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. <\/p>\n
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\tLow Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. <\/p>\n
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\tThe eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. <\/p>\n
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\tWeight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. <\/p>\n
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\tThe Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours."<\/p>\n
No replies were posted for this topic.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins, or were announced in church services: The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=136"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/forumarchives.tmsites.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}