An Italian Confession
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish…
Gotta Love the Irish
Lost at Sea Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, Were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear,…
The bacon tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says: "Hey Pepe, do you…
PGA Rule Changes for Seniors
Rule 1.a.5 A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on The Fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled into The Rough with no penalty. The senior should not be…
A trip to Italy
A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her. "You have so…
The Queen and Dolly Parton
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they’ll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which…
Sex With an Illegal Immigrant
An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker in Hollywood . "Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?" he asks. "$100," she replies. In broken English, he says, "Do you do immigrant style?" "No" she says. "I pay you…
Lamaze Class
The Lamaze class was in full swing. The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurances to their…
pilots and control towers
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!" Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees." TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet.. How…
Letter from a farm kid, now a Marine Corps recruit
Dear Ma and Pa, I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are…