THE IRISH 999 CALL
An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999. Irishman: ”It’s my fooken wife! I’ve accidentally shot her, I’ve fooken killed her!” Operator: ”Please calm down Sir. Can you first make sure she is…
An Age-Old Question
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an…
Couple Sex
My 8-year-old granddaughter came to me as I was working in the yard and asked me, " Grampa , what is couple sex?" I was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she’s old enough…
Mallard Fillmore on the First Amendment
Replies: Posted by: NickatNight on October 10, 2012, 12:01 pm My Knees are hurting from prayers that take Romney "All the Way"..It will be worth it! your joke shows some truth in it!
Fred is Speeding!
A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies. ‘Fred what?’ the officer asks. ‘Just Fred,’ the man responds. The officer is in a good mood…
WIFE FROM HELL
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,’ I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.’ The driver says, ‘Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating Not…
SENIOR BUS TOURS
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After…
MISINTERPRETATION
I was in a pub last Saturday night, and drank a few, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them…
INDIANS DON'T USE SADDLES‏
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on…
DATING ADS FOR SENIORS
Beautiful ads indeed! You can say what you want about Florida , but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north. These are actual ads seen in ”The Villages” Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don’t have a sense of…