I just returned from a family trip to Vegas. Last time out I got knocked down pretty good. I got a little too confident and I learned my lesson. I’ve always had difficulty with adrenaline and nerves and decided to work on that the next time I went to the casino. You see, I really needed to rethink my approach. I wanted to win so badly that I was putting too much pressure on myself and no longer enjoying the exercise.

I took a couple of months off and just really thought about what I was trying to get out of the experience of throwing the dice. I wasn’t doing it for the money. I just love the challenge of trying to overcome the odds in a game that is thought to be totally random. I have ridden the self-doubt roller coaster for almost 6 years now and still I have continued. I looked at what it was that made my hands shake and what it was that made it almost impossible to still all of that inner activity that was distracting me in the midst of shooting the dice. I had to find a way of working on the basics and letting go of the results for awhile. Once I could find that inner stillness in my garage, I had to think about how to do the same in a casino setting. After a lot of self talk, I was able to agree on a set strategy (the TBS) and strict adherence to the five count and go and give it another try.

I spent three days only throwing under ideal conditions ( table size, covering, bounce, etc…) and limited myself to three turns before deciding to continue. I used one come bet with single odds on random shooters and paid attention to my physical and mental state.

For the entire three days I had very little problem with either adrenaline or nerves. I was able to duplicate the quiet inside my head and because of that, pay very close attention to the softness of my grip and the way the dice were leaving my hand. If after three tries I did not have any success, I took a nice break for a few hours and took a nap or had lunch. No pressure and no chasing. Because I have had some success, I felt that I was almost guaranteed success. Not so. Failure can be a great teacher if we can negotiate a little with our ego.

As a result, the dice looked great in the air and I had four very long rolls this trip. It was a great boost and gave me confidence in the direction I have been taking with this game. The five count is such an awesome tool and I always had plenty of ammo when my turn came around.

I do have to say that at one casino where they know me the two dealers and box man were so impressed with how my dice were in the air. I hit number after number and many hardways. I don’t bet the hard but I had a five dollar hard ten for the dealers and hit it. I let out a yell and their response was, keep quiet, don’t attract any attention to what you’re doing, just keep rolling like your doing. Thirty minutes later, after tripling my buyin, I colored up and they said, "You know what to do, we’ll see you another time" I really took care of them. They were so helpful and diligent, and I got the hell out of there for the evening. I have to say my throw looked like I had glued the dice together.

I was myself in awe and these guys saw it too. OK, so that isn’t going to happen every time but, I had four rolls that were similar in nature over the three and a half days. I kept a very low profile and really got into a rythum quickly. I just had to get to a point where I was either going to find a way of quieting myself or just stop wasting my money. I know I can do it now. Some days will always be better than others. This morning before I left, I tried two sessions and could see that I just wasn’t there with the dice. After a small loss, I colored up and called it a day. My 401g is grateful and I know I am standing on the shoulders of a lot of the GTC staff, both past and present. It is a journey.

Good rolling to all of you. Inner stillness does not come easy.

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