A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease".
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.".

"He had delusions of adequacy.".
– Walter Kerr.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.".
– Winston Churchill.

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.".
– Clarence Darrow.

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.".
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.".
– Moses Hadas.

"I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.".
– Mark Twain.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.".
– Oscar Wilde.

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.".
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.".
– Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.".
– Stephen Bishop.

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator.".
– John Bright.

"I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.".
– Irvin S. Cobb.

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.".
– Samuel Johnson.

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.".
– Paul Keating.

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.".
– Charles, Count Talleyrand.

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.".
– Forrest Tucker.

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?".
– Mark Twain.

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.".
– Mae West.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.".
– Oscar Wilde.

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.".
– Andrew Lang (1844-1912).

"He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.".
– Billy Wilder.

"I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I’m afraid this wasn’t it.".
– Groucho Marx.

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