HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14-16 men’s work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo
magazine.
3. Put 4 giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,
Me and Marcel, Donnie Ray and Jimmy Earl went for more ammo and beer.
Be back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this morning and messed
him up bad.
I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the
blood. Anyway,
I locked all 4 of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cooter

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