I neither apologize nor take responsibility for any of the following. Furthermore, if you enjoy these, your sanity may be questionable. Enjoy.

Jokes about  German  sausage are the wurst.

How does Moses  make his tea?  Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see  where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

I’m reading a book  about  anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical  performance  about puns. It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I  didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you  make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she  couldn’t control her  pupils?

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Broken  pencils are  pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call  a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A  thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro – what a rip off!

Cartoonist  found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government’s fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

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