My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds.
Only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner!
Mostly croutons & tomatoes.
Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce.
And cheese.
FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don’t mean to brag but……
I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little
extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was
young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was
below zero outside they closed school?
Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart
or talented…I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 70. I learn something new every day…….and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night……He started searching
for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown.
I was like: I KNOW! Right?

I think I’ll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

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