1. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate, VII
2. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop
3. If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven.
~Will Rogers
4. Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato
5. Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river. ~Nikita Khrushchev
6. When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow
7. Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author Unknown
8. If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno
9. Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton
10. Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer
11. The Democrats seem to be basically nice people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of
celery. They’re the kind of people who might stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be
reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy.
The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn’t bother to stop because they’d want to be on time at the country club. ~Dave Barry
12. The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The
Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it. ~P.J. O’Rourke
13. I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952
14. A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~Texas Guinan
15. Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so. ~Gore Vidal
16. I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. ~Charles de Gaulle
17. Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan
18. Politics: [Poly "many" + tics "blood-sucking parasites"] ~Larry Hardiman
19. Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson
20. There ought to be one day – just one – when there is open season on senators. ~Will Rogers
21. Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. ~ Benjamin
Franklin
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